Post by coreycz on Apr 6, 2013 4:18:23 GMT -6
Pre-Show:
WHSmith def. Mascara Muerto via Eat The Concrete to win the HEW Tag Team Titles
The camera cuts backstage to where slimy manager Slick Harrison and his imposing client, King Congo, are standing against a neutral grey background. Congo seems a little wary of the camera, but Slick has a microphone in hand and a smirk on his features, and is obviously ready to talk. At what is probably a signal from off-camera, he begins:
Slick Harrison: Good ladies and fine gents, if I may have your attention for a moment, my client and I would like to cla-RAH-fy certain allegations and accusations made against us by persons of interest.
The crowd, who gave a slight reaction at the start of the segment, gives the two mild heat, as the manager continues:
Slick: Last week, as you all know, the gentleman by the name of Nobody callously in-SEE-NEW-ated that my client, the in-TEE-MAH-datin' King Congo, might not be who he claims to be.
Harrison pauses for a second, for effect, then resumes:
Slick: Accordin' to the gen-NUL-man in question, this man's name would be Edwin So-LAH-mon, from Houston, Texas. Also accordin' to Mr. Nobody, Congo's reason to be here, at Hol-LAH-wood E-lite Wrass-lin', would involve the need to gain custody of his young son. We would like to state that, in what concerns such accusations, Mr. Nobody would be ab-SAH-LOO-tely...right.
This time, the crowd does react somewhat more strongly, giving a collective gasp. Unperturbed, the manager continues:
Slick: I understand your shock, ladies and gentlemen. You clearly expected me to refuse Mr. Nobody's statements. But why would I? They are ab-SAH-LOO-tely true. Allow me to explain.
He stops again, as if to take a breath, before calmly continuing, in an instructional tone:
Slick: Now, as you know, I discovered this savage man-eatin' human beast, King Congo, in the darkest depths of the African jungle. He was the chief - the king, one might say - of a small tribe of headhunters. The word they used to describe themselves in their language is 'Boo'shiet', which means 'fierce warriors'.
Another pause, then:
Slick: Now, the Boo'shiet don't have what you or I call names. They i-DEN-ti-fy each other through a series of tongue clicks, which are impossible to translate or adapt to any Western language. And that, ladies and gentlemen, leads us to Mr. Nobody's first point of contention. You see, once I had managed to ci-VAH-li-ze this man enough to bring him stateside, he of course required a green card. And since, as I said, his real name is impossible to translate and spell, the fellow at the im-MAH-gra-tion office required that we come up with a Western-sounding name. Rememberin' a novel I'd read, I came up with Solomon; Edwin came from my deceased grandfather, God rest 'im.
Harrison crosses himself quickly, managing a forlorn look, then proceeds:
Slick: There, ladies an' gentlemen, is Mr. Nobody's first argument explained. As for Houston. well, that was our first point of residence upon returning to the United States, before we were approached by Hol-LAH-wood E-lite Wras-slin'.
Another pop ensues, as the manager comes around to his final point:
Slick: Finally, with regards to my client's little boy, we are lookin' to bring him over as soon as possible; the Boo'shiet lifestyle is not at all suited to a dee-VEL-opin' child. How-EVER, such a venture requires that I - through actin' as Mr. Congo's manager - amass a sufficient sum of money to return to Africa and ree-trieve the child. Which would give credence to Mr. Nobody's final argument.
A smug smile spreads across Slick's lips as he concludes, the pop from the crowd indicating that he was successful in stating his case. With an expression that reflects his sense of mission accomplished, he concludes:
Slick: Ladies an' gentlemen, thank you for your...
Before he can say the last word, however, a grunt from his client makes the manager start and whip around, looking vaguely fearful. As he trembles from head to toe, Congo brusquely taps the microphone, grunting again. Slick's eyes widen even further, but he reluctantly complies, holding the microphone out until it is close enough to his client's mouth to project his voice. Not so much as batting an eyelid, and still staring daggers into the camera, King Congo then raises a pointing finger outwards and spits out two solitary words, in clear, understandable English:
King Congo: CONGO...SMASH!
It is with the savage's fist thumping audibly against his open hand that the segment ends, and the feed returns to the arena.
Camera takes us to the announcer table.
Mark Daniels: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to HEW Shockwave that opened with interesting words by Mr. Slick Harrison."
Stephen T. Darling: "Interesting? It's bullshit."
Mark Daniels: "No, Darling, it's pronounced Boo'shiet"
Tony Allen: “This next match is scheduled for One Fall and is for the Free For All Championship! Introducing first!”
Zero by Evergreen Terrace plays as Zero runs out to a HUGE pop from the fans. He plays up to the crowd as he shoots out t-shirts from the t-shirt gun. He now slides into the ring and does a little dance with the ref.
Tony Allen: "From Parts Unknown, weighting in this evening at One Hundrer Eighty Nine Pounds... ZEEEEEROOOO!"
“The Architect” by Ceterum hits the PA system as X walks out clad in his custom trench coat and mask. The crowd gives off a pretty big pop, but he doesn't seem to notice as he stands by the entrance, unmoved. He looks around slowly before making his way down to the ring methodically. He stops just before the steel steps, looks up at the ring from his point of view and briskly walks up the steps and enters the ring where he stands in the middle of the ring, looking somewhat intimidating.
Tony Allen: “From New York, New York. Weighing in this evening at Two hundred and Ten pounds! He is your Free For All Champion.....X!”
Mark Daniels: "This promises to be a great battle of the former and the current champion!"
DING DING DING!
Just as the bell rings, X rushes at Zero and drops him with a vicious clothesline! He gets up quickly and is stomping away on his opponent like a mad man!
Stephen T. Darling: "Or not..."
X lifts Zero up and drops him with a Powerbomb. He then stops his attack for a moment, allowing Zero to get back to his feet... only to pierce through him with the Last Chance (Spear)! That isn't enough as he adds a Soul Destroyer (Black Hole Slam) and then locks in The Crippler (STF)! Zero has no chance to react and has to tap after few seconds!
Tony Allen: "Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner and still the Free For All Champion... X!"
Mark Daniels: "Jesus, that ended more quick than your Saturday date, Stephen!"
Stephen T. Darling: "Piss off..."
Zero tries to fight the champion even after the match and delivers some punches and kicks, but X smashes him in the head with his belt he's been celebrating with. He kicks Zero from the ring underneath the bottom ring and gets a mic from Tony Allen.
X: "What you have just witnessed was a clinic, put on by a man that is a true champion and a true wrestling star! There is no space for masked goofs, cartoon characters, Santa Claus ripoffs... it's time to grow up!"
He tosses the mic back to our announcer as he walks away from the ring.
Mark Daniels: "Well, it looks that our Free For All Champion doesn't like his competition...."
Stephen T. Darling: "For what I have seen, there is NO competition for X."
Tony Allen: “This next match is scheduled for One Fall and is a Handicap Match! Introducing first!”
SORRY FOR PARTY ROCKIN' by LMFAO plays as SHAMROCK AND ICE COLD dance, gyrate and call to the crowd, followed by "The Shizz" Max Knight. They are boo'd by the fans, but they don't seem to care and party on to the ring.
Tony Allen: "Accompanied by "The Shizz" Max Knight, at the combined weight of 435 pounds... Mickey Shamrock... "Ice Cold" Jimmy White Jr.... The PAAAAAARTY NAAAATIOOON!"
Tribal drumbeats echo trough the arena and King Congo enters the scene, led as always by Slick Harrison. He unleashes several screams before entering the ring.
Tony Allen: “And their opponent, from the Darkest Regions of Africa, weighing in this evening at Three hundred and Ten pounds...KING....CONGOOOO!”
Mark Daniels: "Big test for Congo today! Two men stand in his way."
Stephen T. Darling: "This is going to be a madness."
Congo starts in the ring with Mickey Shamrock. "Jackpot" starts with a Lariat, but doesn't bring the massive African star down. He contiues with his efforts, hitting a Lariat after Lariat, but Congo doesn't seem to move a bit. He seems tired with Shamrock's action and when he sees him running off the ropes again, he drops him with a right handed punch. He does several Elbow Drops across Mickey's chest and then goes for the pinfall.
ONE!
TWO!-- KICKOUT!
Congo is methodical with Mickey, lifts him up, leans him on the ropes and sends several stiff chops towards his chest. Shamrock is desperate to make a tag, but Congo prevents him from doing so.
Mark Daniels: "Congo is visibly angry after what happened at Revolution! He wants to end this quickly!"
Stephen T. Darling: "Jimmy, right now, doesn't have much chance of even wrestling in this match..."
Congo Irish Whips Shamrock towards the ropes and sets to hit him with the Big Boot, but Mickey Baseball Slides under the lifted leg of Congo and quickly reaches to his corner, tagging in Jimmy. Both Party Nation members stay in the ring and hit The Cock Blocker on Congo, as Shamrock does a Flying Knee Attack, turning Congo right into a Pedigree by Jimmy! Jimmy struggles, but is successful to drag Congo to the ropes and drape him over the lowest one. Party Nation argue with referee, and Max Knight takes advantage and hits Congo with the Shizz Kick (Sweet Chin Music)!
Mark Daniels: "Whoa whoa whoa! So much for the fair play from the Party Nation!"
Slick Harrison tries to even the score and hits Max Knight with his pimp stick! Congo is very slow to get to his feet, but very angry and rushes at The Party Nation members with a Double Clothesline! He drops Jimmy, but Mickey dodges, gets behind him and tries an Okada Roll.
ONE
TWO!
THR-- KICKOUT!
Stephen T. Daniels: "That's what I was talking about! Complete and utter madness!"
Mark Daniels: "Now Shamrock goes for a dive!"
Mickey tries to escape the anger of Congo and performs a Suicide Dive through the ropes, wiping Slick Harrison off! As both managers are taken out and Shamrock struggles to get to his feet outside, it's the legal man Jimmy White jr. who tries his best against Congo in the ring, hitting him with kicks and punches. He tries a running attack off the ropes, but Congo cuts him in half with a Spear! He goes for the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
THR-- KICKOUT!
Congo stands up and notices Slick being hurt. That gives Jimmy White the chance to go for a quick roll-up with handful of tights.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Stephen T. Darling: "Well holy shit! They just beat Congo!"
Tony Allen: "Here are your winners... PAAAAARTYYYY NAAAAATIOOOON!"
Shizz, Jimmy and Mickey run backstage to escape the anger of King Congo, who definitely has his sights set on them.
Tony Allen: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from nowhere, weighing in at 171lbs, NOBODY!
"Shut 'Em Down" by Celldweller plays, and all the lights in the arena are shut as No Man/Nobody walks onto the entrance ramp with a hoodie, masked, of course. He walks slowly, looking at the ground until the 0:30 mark of the song, when the bass drops and he takes off the hoodie, swings his semi long black hair and touches the mustache on his mask. He then makes his way to the ring,
Tony Allen: And his opponent, from the North Pole, weighing in at 500lbs, SANTA CLAUS!
"Santa Claus is Coming to Town" by Bing Crosby (techno dance remix) hits the arena as a chill comes over the arena. A light snow begins to fall from the rafters as a sleigh enters the arena carrying the impressively huge mass of Santa Claus and his beautiful, young, hot wife Mrs. Claus, who smiles warmly at Santa as he drops the reigns and stands up in the sleigh. He looks around and smiles as he now hops down quite spryly for an "old" man. He holds up his hand and helps his wife step down from the sleigh.
Santa now reaches inside his sleigh and grabs one red and one black Christmas sack made out of crushed red and black velvet material, respectively. Santa chuckles to himself as he slings the sack around himself and catching it on the side of his back around his shoulder. He now hums a merry little Christmas tune as his face tics up into a friendly, yet mischievous smile. Mrs. Claus comes to a standing position next to her husband as he now climbs into the ring. He opens the crushed red velvet Christmas sack and begins to toss red and green wrapped Christmas gifts out into the fans. They rabidly stomp, shove and trample over one another just to get one of the gifts. Santa just chuckles inside the ring. The black Christmas sack, however, remains closed and is currently resting in Santa's corner. He now pulls on the ropes and bellows out a mighty "HO...... HO...... HO!" at the top of his voice.. with the fans all chiming in right along with him. He now leans over in his corner as the big breasted Mrs. Claus whispers something to him, then turns to face Nobody.
Stephen T. Darling: Talk about a couple of freaks! Who keeps making these matches? A 5-year-old? This is a serious organization!
Mark Daniels: May I remind you that both these men challenged for each of our belts?
Stephen T. Darling: I know! What has our talent roster come to!
As the two trade banter, and the match begins, Nobody is sitting on the turnbuckle, looking like he does not have a care in the world. He eventually points to a spot behind Santa, as if indicating his pants are about to fall. Santa quickly turns around, sees there is nothing wrong with his ring gear, and turns back to his mocking opponent, incensed. As he takes off on a run, however, Nobody coolly stands up and leaps downs to the mat, landing behind Santa as he eats turnbuckle! As the jolly 'old' man turns around, he only barely dodges a superkick, quickly reversing it into a powerslam!
Mark Daniels: Nobody getting his due for his cocky attitude...
Stephen T. Darling: Of course he's cocky, Daniels! He's fighting SANTA! Why should he take it seriously?!
Mark Daniels: Gee, I don't know...maybe because this is a match?
As the announcers discuss Nobody's motivations, the masked man himself manages to roll out of the way of Santa's second-turnbuckle Banzai drop. As the 'old' man crashes down, he quickly springboards off the ropes, landing a moonsault and covering!
ONE...
Santa kicks out!
Mark Daniels: Failed attempt there, but Nobody has the upper hand now. Can he capitalize?
Nobody seems to be trying his best to do so, as he begins the Face Remover series of punches. He has not landed more than a couple, however, before Santa kicks him away angrily, beginning to sit upright. Nobody helps him on his way, bringing him to his feet and beginning to apply chops. Santa fights back with some stiff punches of his own, and soon the match has turned into a fistfight, with each man taking turns dodging and applying punches. The crowd "WOO's" at each turn, and cheers when Santa whacks Nobody to the ropes with a stiff left hook. No Man, however, bounces off and comes back swinging a Clothesline From Hell! Santa dodges, and is about to reverse, when...
...tribal drums begin to play, and King Congo ambles out onto the platform, looking typically intimidating. The two men in the ring stop dead and stare, as the savage holds a finger out towards them.
Mark Daniels: Where is Slick? Somebody get Slick out here, before this gets out of hand!
Stephen T. Darling: He's out for revenge, Daniels! Both these bozos made him look like a chump, and now it's payback time, baby!
However, just as Congo begins to waddle towards the ring, another, smaller figure comes running from the back.
Mark Daniels: Slick! Thank God!
Stephen T. Darling: Nah, that's not Slick! It's that Joker make-up dude! And he's got a chair! Congo, look OUT!
The chair cracks across the huge savage's back, but seemingly has no effect, other than to annoy Congo into turning around and facing the mysterious Joker-man. The assailant tries to repeat the attack, only to have the wild man chase him up the ramp. Meanwhile, on the mat, Nobody and Santa are frozen on the spot, fists still raised in a guard stance, watching the scene unfold. It takes a shout from Mrs Claus for one of them to snap out of it, as Santa profits from the distraction and connects with Mistletoe Madness!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Tony Allen: Here is your winner...
Before the ring announcer can name the victor, however, his spiel is interrupted by a dark blur approaching the ring at considerable speed.
Mark Daniels: King Congo! It's King Congo again!
It is, in fact, the Ignoble Savage, who slides under the bottom rope and immediately goes for Santa. The old man tries to fight him off and set up Seasons' Beatings, but Congo pushes him away. As the 'old' man stumbles, the savage scoops him up into a gorilla press and throws him hard against the mat with Sacrifice!
Stephen T. Darling: There goes Santa!
Mark Daniels: Someone needs to make this stop!
Just then, he notices Nobody starting to budge, looking to get to his feet and sneak up on him. He promptly whirls around and hits the smaller man with a brutal spear, which makes him topple backwards and lie flat on the mat. Seizing his opportunity, Congo promptly climbs to the second turnbuckle and connects with a Voodoo Drop, flattening the masked man. He stands in the centre of the ring for a moment, beating his chest, and is about to inflict some more damage on Santa when yet another figure appears at the ramp, ranting at and berating him in a strange language.
Mark Daniels: NOW he appears! About time!
Congo is visibly grudging to step out of the ring, but through some more forceful sounds, Slick manages to bring him outside the squared circle, up the ramp and through the curtain, leaving the two actual contenders to be tended to by EMTs.
D.C. Wiland, sporting off course his UltraWiland t-shirt, is seen standing backstage.
Wiland: "This show is a complete madness, really. I still struggle to see a real star other than me. Tonight, when I finally beat that punk Raiden Blaze, I will show you that HEW is gonna get a PPV Champion worth of the Hollywood fame really soon. That champ... is gonna be me."
The main riff of "Lonely Boy" by The Black Keys blasts through the arena and after few seconds, D.C. Wiland steps from behind the curtain, chewing bubble gum as always. He walks to the ring slowly, insulting fans on the way and telling them how great he is.
Tony Allen: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following is your main event of the evening and it is a steel cage match! Introducing first, from the finest corners of Buffalo, New York, weighting in at 200 pounds... D... C.... WIIIIIIIILAAAAAAND!
He steps on the apron and takes off his t-shirt and throws it on the ground before stepping in the ring where he poses to the crowd.
Ruxspin remix of Issues by Escape the Fate hits the speakers and the crowd goes wild, but there is no sign of Raiden Blaze whatsoever.
Mark Daniels: "What does it mean? What's happening?"
Wiland tells the ref to start counting and he does so.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
FIVE!
Stephen T. Darling: "You better get out here quickly, punk!"
SIX!
SEVEN!
EIGHT!
NINE!
Mark Daniels: "Not this way!"
TEN!!!
Wiland celebrates like a mad man.
Tony Allen: "Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner via countout.... D.C. WIIIIILAAAAAND!"
Mark Daniels: "That is unbelievable. He celebrates like he has won a superbowl, but he won a steel cage match where his opponent didn't even show up... the cage didn't even lower down!
Stephen T. Darling: "You see? Wiland is so good he can win matches without actually wrestling!"
Camera suddenly cuts backstage to show what happened just minutes earlier.
Raiden stood backstage, stretching out before his match.
??: Raiden Blaze..
A young, sad voice said his name. Raiden turned around to see who is talking to him.
Raiden: Yeah? Who is that? Is that some wannabe funny guy like Harry Smith or "Santa Claus"?
Raiden silently laughed and continued walking. However, a very weird person jumped him from the right side. An emo or more likely gothic, but it looks more like he's emo, young person jumped him. He wore long, raven black dyed hair and heavy, heavy black emo looking make up. HEAVY eyeliners were the most notable facial feature alongside the ring piercing on the left side of his lower lip. He also wore a black slim short sleeved t-shirt and a very weird black necklace. He also wore black jeans or pants, or whatever that was. He hit Raiden's temple with his elbow, causing Raiden to lose consciousness and fall on the ground. The weird emo young male opened a box next to him and found weapons in it. He took a steel baseball bat with the initials G.N. written with black paint on it. He started beating up Raiden and started hitting his upper back and shoulders with the baseball bat with a very psychopathic, twisted smile on his face. But just after that, he knelt next to Raiden and took a razor blade out of the pocket of his jeans and cut Raiden's t-shirt off. It is very weird, but it looks like he started suddenly crying, just after he maniacally started laughing.
??: See, Raiden Blaze? This is only because of you. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME! I need to damage my own body to punish myself for the joy you've been spreading around..
The weird person cut a long cut on his forearm with the razor blade and licked the blood off.
??: Do you see it, Raiden Blaze? I mourn. for you.. I cry these tears for you! You are the bringer of the joy. THERE IS TOO MUCH JOY IN THIS WORLD, WHY IS THERE HAPPINESS? The world is.. CRUEL! I feel the need to darken you.. I feel the need to show you the beauty of pure emotions..
The very weird person wiped his tears, leaving his makeup smudged. His hands were bloody, and the blood was combined with liquid eyeliner. He simply painted a sad face on the back of Raiden Blaze and silently walked away, as if nothing has just happened.
Mark Daniels: "Oh my god! Somebody go and help Raiden!"
Stephen T. Darling: "If it's not too late... I don't like Blaze but if there's something I don't like more it's emo freaks like these!"
Mark Daniels: "Well ladies and gentlemen, this has been a crazy event, we'll see you in two weeks!"
black screen appears, with a white text over it, saying simply "AN ANNOUNCEMENT BY AN INNOCENT BYSTANDER, A HEW HARDCORE FAN.". The video cuts to a pretty tall, pretty young looking man with long black hair, wearing a gray t-shirt, standing in front of a wall
However, after about two or three seconds, the man starts talking.
The Man:
Good evening, day, morning, afternoon, or whatever the hell is the time of the day at the moment when you're watching this. My name is Tyler Angel, and I am one very, very pissed off HEW fan. I paid the highest possible price to experience the first ever PPV, Revolution! I did have my expectations, my predictions on who might the winner be, I can sure tell you I am very angry. Why, though? There was an intruder! NOW WHO COULD THE INTRUDER BE? Wait.. was it me? No, seriously, WAS I THE JOKER? I have the same hair length, I'm not afraid to say I have a pretty muscular body. Buuut, for those with the high hopes, nope, that wasn't me.
The man runs his hand through his hair and gets his face into the camera, but not extremely close to it.
But why am I so intrigued and why do I care that much? If I was just a random fan, actually, why would I open Shockwave? Well I guess it's because I'm pretty pissed off, because a masked man ruined my Sunday. And seriously, who the hell I am to judge masked people? I'm just a nobody.. but without the "a".
I'm just a man, you know, who invested some months into hard training, both physical and psychical, a man who always knew he's untouchable, a man who invests time in the potential result and sweats blood, and some random masked fucker will not ruin it for me, this is NOT over. I repeat, this is not over. And I guess I forgot my.. "war gear" on the ground, seriously, this has become serious, fuck secrets, fuck gimmicks.
The man bends over to pick up an Anonymous mask, look at it and throw it behind himself as he walks away..
WHSmith def. Mascara Muerto via Eat The Concrete to win the HEW Tag Team Titles
Congo Promo
The camera cuts backstage to where slimy manager Slick Harrison and his imposing client, King Congo, are standing against a neutral grey background. Congo seems a little wary of the camera, but Slick has a microphone in hand and a smirk on his features, and is obviously ready to talk. At what is probably a signal from off-camera, he begins:
Slick Harrison: Good ladies and fine gents, if I may have your attention for a moment, my client and I would like to cla-RAH-fy certain allegations and accusations made against us by persons of interest.
The crowd, who gave a slight reaction at the start of the segment, gives the two mild heat, as the manager continues:
Slick: Last week, as you all know, the gentleman by the name of Nobody callously in-SEE-NEW-ated that my client, the in-TEE-MAH-datin' King Congo, might not be who he claims to be.
Harrison pauses for a second, for effect, then resumes:
Slick: Accordin' to the gen-NUL-man in question, this man's name would be Edwin So-LAH-mon, from Houston, Texas. Also accordin' to Mr. Nobody, Congo's reason to be here, at Hol-LAH-wood E-lite Wrass-lin', would involve the need to gain custody of his young son. We would like to state that, in what concerns such accusations, Mr. Nobody would be ab-SAH-LOO-tely...right.
This time, the crowd does react somewhat more strongly, giving a collective gasp. Unperturbed, the manager continues:
Slick: I understand your shock, ladies and gentlemen. You clearly expected me to refuse Mr. Nobody's statements. But why would I? They are ab-SAH-LOO-tely true. Allow me to explain.
He stops again, as if to take a breath, before calmly continuing, in an instructional tone:
Slick: Now, as you know, I discovered this savage man-eatin' human beast, King Congo, in the darkest depths of the African jungle. He was the chief - the king, one might say - of a small tribe of headhunters. The word they used to describe themselves in their language is 'Boo'shiet', which means 'fierce warriors'.
Another pause, then:
Slick: Now, the Boo'shiet don't have what you or I call names. They i-DEN-ti-fy each other through a series of tongue clicks, which are impossible to translate or adapt to any Western language. And that, ladies and gentlemen, leads us to Mr. Nobody's first point of contention. You see, once I had managed to ci-VAH-li-ze this man enough to bring him stateside, he of course required a green card. And since, as I said, his real name is impossible to translate and spell, the fellow at the im-MAH-gra-tion office required that we come up with a Western-sounding name. Rememberin' a novel I'd read, I came up with Solomon; Edwin came from my deceased grandfather, God rest 'im.
Harrison crosses himself quickly, managing a forlorn look, then proceeds:
Slick: There, ladies an' gentlemen, is Mr. Nobody's first argument explained. As for Houston. well, that was our first point of residence upon returning to the United States, before we were approached by Hol-LAH-wood E-lite Wras-slin'.
Another pop ensues, as the manager comes around to his final point:
Slick: Finally, with regards to my client's little boy, we are lookin' to bring him over as soon as possible; the Boo'shiet lifestyle is not at all suited to a dee-VEL-opin' child. How-EVER, such a venture requires that I - through actin' as Mr. Congo's manager - amass a sufficient sum of money to return to Africa and ree-trieve the child. Which would give credence to Mr. Nobody's final argument.
A smug smile spreads across Slick's lips as he concludes, the pop from the crowd indicating that he was successful in stating his case. With an expression that reflects his sense of mission accomplished, he concludes:
Slick: Ladies an' gentlemen, thank you for your...
Before he can say the last word, however, a grunt from his client makes the manager start and whip around, looking vaguely fearful. As he trembles from head to toe, Congo brusquely taps the microphone, grunting again. Slick's eyes widen even further, but he reluctantly complies, holding the microphone out until it is close enough to his client's mouth to project his voice. Not so much as batting an eyelid, and still staring daggers into the camera, King Congo then raises a pointing finger outwards and spits out two solitary words, in clear, understandable English:
King Congo: CONGO...SMASH!
It is with the savage's fist thumping audibly against his open hand that the segment ends, and the feed returns to the arena.
Camera takes us to the announcer table.
Mark Daniels: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to HEW Shockwave that opened with interesting words by Mr. Slick Harrison."
Stephen T. Darling: "Interesting? It's bullshit."
Mark Daniels: "No, Darling, it's pronounced Boo'shiet"
FREE FOR ALL CHAMPIONSHIP
X vs Zero
X vs Zero
Tony Allen: “This next match is scheduled for One Fall and is for the Free For All Championship! Introducing first!”
Zero by Evergreen Terrace plays as Zero runs out to a HUGE pop from the fans. He plays up to the crowd as he shoots out t-shirts from the t-shirt gun. He now slides into the ring and does a little dance with the ref.
Tony Allen: "From Parts Unknown, weighting in this evening at One Hundrer Eighty Nine Pounds... ZEEEEEROOOO!"
“The Architect” by Ceterum hits the PA system as X walks out clad in his custom trench coat and mask. The crowd gives off a pretty big pop, but he doesn't seem to notice as he stands by the entrance, unmoved. He looks around slowly before making his way down to the ring methodically. He stops just before the steel steps, looks up at the ring from his point of view and briskly walks up the steps and enters the ring where he stands in the middle of the ring, looking somewhat intimidating.
Tony Allen: “From New York, New York. Weighing in this evening at Two hundred and Ten pounds! He is your Free For All Champion.....X!”
Mark Daniels: "This promises to be a great battle of the former and the current champion!"
DING DING DING!
Just as the bell rings, X rushes at Zero and drops him with a vicious clothesline! He gets up quickly and is stomping away on his opponent like a mad man!
Stephen T. Darling: "Or not..."
X lifts Zero up and drops him with a Powerbomb. He then stops his attack for a moment, allowing Zero to get back to his feet... only to pierce through him with the Last Chance (Spear)! That isn't enough as he adds a Soul Destroyer (Black Hole Slam) and then locks in The Crippler (STF)! Zero has no chance to react and has to tap after few seconds!
Tony Allen: "Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner and still the Free For All Champion... X!"
Mark Daniels: "Jesus, that ended more quick than your Saturday date, Stephen!"
Stephen T. Darling: "Piss off..."
Zero tries to fight the champion even after the match and delivers some punches and kicks, but X smashes him in the head with his belt he's been celebrating with. He kicks Zero from the ring underneath the bottom ring and gets a mic from Tony Allen.
X: "What you have just witnessed was a clinic, put on by a man that is a true champion and a true wrestling star! There is no space for masked goofs, cartoon characters, Santa Claus ripoffs... it's time to grow up!"
He tosses the mic back to our announcer as he walks away from the ring.
Mark Daniels: "Well, it looks that our Free For All Champion doesn't like his competition...."
Stephen T. Darling: "For what I have seen, there is NO competition for X."
Handicap Match
Party Nation w/Shizz vs. King Congo w/Slick
Party Nation w/Shizz vs. King Congo w/Slick
Tony Allen: “This next match is scheduled for One Fall and is a Handicap Match! Introducing first!”
SORRY FOR PARTY ROCKIN' by LMFAO plays as SHAMROCK AND ICE COLD dance, gyrate and call to the crowd, followed by "The Shizz" Max Knight. They are boo'd by the fans, but they don't seem to care and party on to the ring.
Tony Allen: "Accompanied by "The Shizz" Max Knight, at the combined weight of 435 pounds... Mickey Shamrock... "Ice Cold" Jimmy White Jr.... The PAAAAAARTY NAAAATIOOON!"
Tribal drumbeats echo trough the arena and King Congo enters the scene, led as always by Slick Harrison. He unleashes several screams before entering the ring.
Tony Allen: “And their opponent, from the Darkest Regions of Africa, weighing in this evening at Three hundred and Ten pounds...KING....CONGOOOO!”
Mark Daniels: "Big test for Congo today! Two men stand in his way."
Stephen T. Darling: "This is going to be a madness."
Congo starts in the ring with Mickey Shamrock. "Jackpot" starts with a Lariat, but doesn't bring the massive African star down. He contiues with his efforts, hitting a Lariat after Lariat, but Congo doesn't seem to move a bit. He seems tired with Shamrock's action and when he sees him running off the ropes again, he drops him with a right handed punch. He does several Elbow Drops across Mickey's chest and then goes for the pinfall.
ONE!
TWO!-- KICKOUT!
Congo is methodical with Mickey, lifts him up, leans him on the ropes and sends several stiff chops towards his chest. Shamrock is desperate to make a tag, but Congo prevents him from doing so.
Mark Daniels: "Congo is visibly angry after what happened at Revolution! He wants to end this quickly!"
Stephen T. Darling: "Jimmy, right now, doesn't have much chance of even wrestling in this match..."
Congo Irish Whips Shamrock towards the ropes and sets to hit him with the Big Boot, but Mickey Baseball Slides under the lifted leg of Congo and quickly reaches to his corner, tagging in Jimmy. Both Party Nation members stay in the ring and hit The Cock Blocker on Congo, as Shamrock does a Flying Knee Attack, turning Congo right into a Pedigree by Jimmy! Jimmy struggles, but is successful to drag Congo to the ropes and drape him over the lowest one. Party Nation argue with referee, and Max Knight takes advantage and hits Congo with the Shizz Kick (Sweet Chin Music)!
Mark Daniels: "Whoa whoa whoa! So much for the fair play from the Party Nation!"
Slick Harrison tries to even the score and hits Max Knight with his pimp stick! Congo is very slow to get to his feet, but very angry and rushes at The Party Nation members with a Double Clothesline! He drops Jimmy, but Mickey dodges, gets behind him and tries an Okada Roll.
ONE
TWO!
THR-- KICKOUT!
Stephen T. Daniels: "That's what I was talking about! Complete and utter madness!"
Mark Daniels: "Now Shamrock goes for a dive!"
Mickey tries to escape the anger of Congo and performs a Suicide Dive through the ropes, wiping Slick Harrison off! As both managers are taken out and Shamrock struggles to get to his feet outside, it's the legal man Jimmy White jr. who tries his best against Congo in the ring, hitting him with kicks and punches. He tries a running attack off the ropes, but Congo cuts him in half with a Spear! He goes for the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
THR-- KICKOUT!
Congo stands up and notices Slick being hurt. That gives Jimmy White the chance to go for a quick roll-up with handful of tights.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Stephen T. Darling: "Well holy shit! They just beat Congo!"
Tony Allen: "Here are your winners... PAAAAARTYYYY NAAAAATIOOOON!"
Shizz, Jimmy and Mickey run backstage to escape the anger of King Congo, who definitely has his sights set on them.
Santa Claus vs Nobody
Tony Allen: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from nowhere, weighing in at 171lbs, NOBODY!
"Shut 'Em Down" by Celldweller plays, and all the lights in the arena are shut as No Man/Nobody walks onto the entrance ramp with a hoodie, masked, of course. He walks slowly, looking at the ground until the 0:30 mark of the song, when the bass drops and he takes off the hoodie, swings his semi long black hair and touches the mustache on his mask. He then makes his way to the ring,
Tony Allen: And his opponent, from the North Pole, weighing in at 500lbs, SANTA CLAUS!
"Santa Claus is Coming to Town" by Bing Crosby (techno dance remix) hits the arena as a chill comes over the arena. A light snow begins to fall from the rafters as a sleigh enters the arena carrying the impressively huge mass of Santa Claus and his beautiful, young, hot wife Mrs. Claus, who smiles warmly at Santa as he drops the reigns and stands up in the sleigh. He looks around and smiles as he now hops down quite spryly for an "old" man. He holds up his hand and helps his wife step down from the sleigh.
Santa now reaches inside his sleigh and grabs one red and one black Christmas sack made out of crushed red and black velvet material, respectively. Santa chuckles to himself as he slings the sack around himself and catching it on the side of his back around his shoulder. He now hums a merry little Christmas tune as his face tics up into a friendly, yet mischievous smile. Mrs. Claus comes to a standing position next to her husband as he now climbs into the ring. He opens the crushed red velvet Christmas sack and begins to toss red and green wrapped Christmas gifts out into the fans. They rabidly stomp, shove and trample over one another just to get one of the gifts. Santa just chuckles inside the ring. The black Christmas sack, however, remains closed and is currently resting in Santa's corner. He now pulls on the ropes and bellows out a mighty "HO...... HO...... HO!" at the top of his voice.. with the fans all chiming in right along with him. He now leans over in his corner as the big breasted Mrs. Claus whispers something to him, then turns to face Nobody.
Stephen T. Darling: Talk about a couple of freaks! Who keeps making these matches? A 5-year-old? This is a serious organization!
Mark Daniels: May I remind you that both these men challenged for each of our belts?
Stephen T. Darling: I know! What has our talent roster come to!
As the two trade banter, and the match begins, Nobody is sitting on the turnbuckle, looking like he does not have a care in the world. He eventually points to a spot behind Santa, as if indicating his pants are about to fall. Santa quickly turns around, sees there is nothing wrong with his ring gear, and turns back to his mocking opponent, incensed. As he takes off on a run, however, Nobody coolly stands up and leaps downs to the mat, landing behind Santa as he eats turnbuckle! As the jolly 'old' man turns around, he only barely dodges a superkick, quickly reversing it into a powerslam!
Mark Daniels: Nobody getting his due for his cocky attitude...
Stephen T. Darling: Of course he's cocky, Daniels! He's fighting SANTA! Why should he take it seriously?!
Mark Daniels: Gee, I don't know...maybe because this is a match?
As the announcers discuss Nobody's motivations, the masked man himself manages to roll out of the way of Santa's second-turnbuckle Banzai drop. As the 'old' man crashes down, he quickly springboards off the ropes, landing a moonsault and covering!
ONE...
Santa kicks out!
Mark Daniels: Failed attempt there, but Nobody has the upper hand now. Can he capitalize?
Nobody seems to be trying his best to do so, as he begins the Face Remover series of punches. He has not landed more than a couple, however, before Santa kicks him away angrily, beginning to sit upright. Nobody helps him on his way, bringing him to his feet and beginning to apply chops. Santa fights back with some stiff punches of his own, and soon the match has turned into a fistfight, with each man taking turns dodging and applying punches. The crowd "WOO's" at each turn, and cheers when Santa whacks Nobody to the ropes with a stiff left hook. No Man, however, bounces off and comes back swinging a Clothesline From Hell! Santa dodges, and is about to reverse, when...
...tribal drums begin to play, and King Congo ambles out onto the platform, looking typically intimidating. The two men in the ring stop dead and stare, as the savage holds a finger out towards them.
Mark Daniels: Where is Slick? Somebody get Slick out here, before this gets out of hand!
Stephen T. Darling: He's out for revenge, Daniels! Both these bozos made him look like a chump, and now it's payback time, baby!
However, just as Congo begins to waddle towards the ring, another, smaller figure comes running from the back.
Mark Daniels: Slick! Thank God!
Stephen T. Darling: Nah, that's not Slick! It's that Joker make-up dude! And he's got a chair! Congo, look OUT!
The chair cracks across the huge savage's back, but seemingly has no effect, other than to annoy Congo into turning around and facing the mysterious Joker-man. The assailant tries to repeat the attack, only to have the wild man chase him up the ramp. Meanwhile, on the mat, Nobody and Santa are frozen on the spot, fists still raised in a guard stance, watching the scene unfold. It takes a shout from Mrs Claus for one of them to snap out of it, as Santa profits from the distraction and connects with Mistletoe Madness!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Tony Allen: Here is your winner...
Before the ring announcer can name the victor, however, his spiel is interrupted by a dark blur approaching the ring at considerable speed.
Mark Daniels: King Congo! It's King Congo again!
It is, in fact, the Ignoble Savage, who slides under the bottom rope and immediately goes for Santa. The old man tries to fight him off and set up Seasons' Beatings, but Congo pushes him away. As the 'old' man stumbles, the savage scoops him up into a gorilla press and throws him hard against the mat with Sacrifice!
Stephen T. Darling: There goes Santa!
Mark Daniels: Someone needs to make this stop!
Just then, he notices Nobody starting to budge, looking to get to his feet and sneak up on him. He promptly whirls around and hits the smaller man with a brutal spear, which makes him topple backwards and lie flat on the mat. Seizing his opportunity, Congo promptly climbs to the second turnbuckle and connects with a Voodoo Drop, flattening the masked man. He stands in the centre of the ring for a moment, beating his chest, and is about to inflict some more damage on Santa when yet another figure appears at the ramp, ranting at and berating him in a strange language.
Mark Daniels: NOW he appears! About time!
Congo is visibly grudging to step out of the ring, but through some more forceful sounds, Slick manages to bring him outside the squared circle, up the ramp and through the curtain, leaving the two actual contenders to be tended to by EMTs.
Wiland Promo
D.C. Wiland, sporting off course his UltraWiland t-shirt, is seen standing backstage.
Wiland: "This show is a complete madness, really. I still struggle to see a real star other than me. Tonight, when I finally beat that punk Raiden Blaze, I will show you that HEW is gonna get a PPV Champion worth of the Hollywood fame really soon. That champ... is gonna be me."
Main Event
Steel Cage Match
D.C. Wiland vs. Raiden Blaze
Steel Cage Match
D.C. Wiland vs. Raiden Blaze
The main riff of "Lonely Boy" by The Black Keys blasts through the arena and after few seconds, D.C. Wiland steps from behind the curtain, chewing bubble gum as always. He walks to the ring slowly, insulting fans on the way and telling them how great he is.
Tony Allen: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following is your main event of the evening and it is a steel cage match! Introducing first, from the finest corners of Buffalo, New York, weighting in at 200 pounds... D... C.... WIIIIIIIILAAAAAAND!
He steps on the apron and takes off his t-shirt and throws it on the ground before stepping in the ring where he poses to the crowd.
Ruxspin remix of Issues by Escape the Fate hits the speakers and the crowd goes wild, but there is no sign of Raiden Blaze whatsoever.
Mark Daniels: "What does it mean? What's happening?"
Wiland tells the ref to start counting and he does so.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
FIVE!
Stephen T. Darling: "You better get out here quickly, punk!"
SIX!
SEVEN!
EIGHT!
NINE!
Mark Daniels: "Not this way!"
TEN!!!
Wiland celebrates like a mad man.
Tony Allen: "Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner via countout.... D.C. WIIIIILAAAAAND!"
Mark Daniels: "That is unbelievable. He celebrates like he has won a superbowl, but he won a steel cage match where his opponent didn't even show up... the cage didn't even lower down!
Stephen T. Darling: "You see? Wiland is so good he can win matches without actually wrestling!"
Camera suddenly cuts backstage to show what happened just minutes earlier.
Raiden stood backstage, stretching out before his match.
??: Raiden Blaze..
A young, sad voice said his name. Raiden turned around to see who is talking to him.
Raiden: Yeah? Who is that? Is that some wannabe funny guy like Harry Smith or "Santa Claus"?
Raiden silently laughed and continued walking. However, a very weird person jumped him from the right side. An emo or more likely gothic, but it looks more like he's emo, young person jumped him. He wore long, raven black dyed hair and heavy, heavy black emo looking make up. HEAVY eyeliners were the most notable facial feature alongside the ring piercing on the left side of his lower lip. He also wore a black slim short sleeved t-shirt and a very weird black necklace. He also wore black jeans or pants, or whatever that was. He hit Raiden's temple with his elbow, causing Raiden to lose consciousness and fall on the ground. The weird emo young male opened a box next to him and found weapons in it. He took a steel baseball bat with the initials G.N. written with black paint on it. He started beating up Raiden and started hitting his upper back and shoulders with the baseball bat with a very psychopathic, twisted smile on his face. But just after that, he knelt next to Raiden and took a razor blade out of the pocket of his jeans and cut Raiden's t-shirt off. It is very weird, but it looks like he started suddenly crying, just after he maniacally started laughing.
??: See, Raiden Blaze? This is only because of you. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME! I need to damage my own body to punish myself for the joy you've been spreading around..
The weird person cut a long cut on his forearm with the razor blade and licked the blood off.
??: Do you see it, Raiden Blaze? I mourn. for you.. I cry these tears for you! You are the bringer of the joy. THERE IS TOO MUCH JOY IN THIS WORLD, WHY IS THERE HAPPINESS? The world is.. CRUEL! I feel the need to darken you.. I feel the need to show you the beauty of pure emotions..
The very weird person wiped his tears, leaving his makeup smudged. His hands were bloody, and the blood was combined with liquid eyeliner. He simply painted a sad face on the back of Raiden Blaze and silently walked away, as if nothing has just happened.
Mark Daniels: "Oh my god! Somebody go and help Raiden!"
Stephen T. Darling: "If it's not too late... I don't like Blaze but if there's something I don't like more it's emo freaks like these!"
Mark Daniels: "Well ladies and gentlemen, this has been a crazy event, we'll see you in two weeks!"
The Revelation
black screen appears, with a white text over it, saying simply "AN ANNOUNCEMENT BY AN INNOCENT BYSTANDER, A HEW HARDCORE FAN.". The video cuts to a pretty tall, pretty young looking man with long black hair, wearing a gray t-shirt, standing in front of a wall
However, after about two or three seconds, the man starts talking.
The Man:
Good evening, day, morning, afternoon, or whatever the hell is the time of the day at the moment when you're watching this. My name is Tyler Angel, and I am one very, very pissed off HEW fan. I paid the highest possible price to experience the first ever PPV, Revolution! I did have my expectations, my predictions on who might the winner be, I can sure tell you I am very angry. Why, though? There was an intruder! NOW WHO COULD THE INTRUDER BE? Wait.. was it me? No, seriously, WAS I THE JOKER? I have the same hair length, I'm not afraid to say I have a pretty muscular body. Buuut, for those with the high hopes, nope, that wasn't me.
The man runs his hand through his hair and gets his face into the camera, but not extremely close to it.
But why am I so intrigued and why do I care that much? If I was just a random fan, actually, why would I open Shockwave? Well I guess it's because I'm pretty pissed off, because a masked man ruined my Sunday. And seriously, who the hell I am to judge masked people? I'm just a nobody.. but without the "a".
I'm just a man, you know, who invested some months into hard training, both physical and psychical, a man who always knew he's untouchable, a man who invests time in the potential result and sweats blood, and some random masked fucker will not ruin it for me, this is NOT over. I repeat, this is not over. And I guess I forgot my.. "war gear" on the ground, seriously, this has become serious, fuck secrets, fuck gimmicks.
The man bends over to pick up an Anonymous mask, look at it and throw it behind himself as he walks away..
